Comfortable In One's Avatar

Many in SecondLife find it both rewarding and pleasing to constantly play with their avatars appearances, I am quite the opposite. I have an urge - a basic need - to find an appearance that I feel comfortable in. Once I have found it, I only make minor adjustments, like getting a new haircut, from time to time.

After the first two years of experimentation I had found a look I was comfortable in for five wonderul years, And then came The Mesh Revolution and the ground opened up beneath me and I was thrown into the bottomless pit of doubt. I started out kicking and screaming and denying I wanted anything to do with mesh - ever!

Why should I change my body to fit into mesh-clothes? "Clothes should fit people not the other way around!"

Well, I was convinced about the benefits of mesh-clothing by a friend I had at the time. Then came the mesh-bodies and heads and everything other mesh, and then on top of all that Bento... *sigh* *vomit*  *weep* *kick* *scream* *yell*

"l e g s" by JJ Goodman

The mesh revolution in SecondLife has really been overwhelming, challenging and difficult for me, despite a bit of fun along the way. I have tried out mesh-bodies, mesh-heads, faces, hands and other appendages (Yes, I do mean mesh-dicks!). Some were awful (like my TMP head & face) others have felt better, but still not quite like me - or rather how I want to project myself - until just about a week ago.

With a new face, new eyes, new eyebrows a semi-new haircut and a bit of fiddling with the settings of my Signature Gianni mesh-body (under the helpful and supportive supervision of my brother JJ Goodman) it finally came together.

I am finally comfortable in my avatars appearance again, and you will probably not see any major changes for the next couple of years. Hopefully there is no new revolution for awhile at least!

The Worst Headache In Living Memory

I had the worst headache this millenium that I can remember on Monday. It started around midnight and kept on - despite medication - until late Monday evening. The cause is most likely my need for new glasses/lenses after the transplant of the lens in my right eye a few weeks ago.

I am however now back again with a somewhat reduced capacity and have booked an appointment with an optician next week to get a new prescription for glasses.

Thrilling Observation

Since the operation of my eye yesterday I have realized that the world is a far more colorful place than I knew before.

I saw colors earlier also, but they were nowhere as strong and vibrant. As you may have observed I can also read well enough to blog without any correctional aid, although it is a strain on my eye and I get tired quickly. Once my eye has settled (in about 4-6 weeks they say) I can get a prescription for new glasses/lenses to correct my astigmatism and I will see better than ever.

Reminder

As I have told you earlier I am going to have my right eye examined by a specialist today at 10.30 AM local time (1.30 AM SLT). Hopefully he will decide it is possible to operate and replace the lens, even though my left eye is mostly useless.

I am not sure how much I will be able to see the first weeks after the operation so this may be the last post for a short while (except for the ones I have scheduled), but fear not, I am determined to be back.

Be good, be safe and take care of each other!

"Gone Fishing"

Today at 4 pm I started my glorious three week vacations, but this year I have a hectic program lined up in both my lives.

First Life

1. Monday June 17, 2013, 10.30 AM local time - Eye-examination and possible laser surgery
2. Wednesday June/19, 2013, 1.30 PM local time - Doctors appointment for check up on my blood sugar and to get a referral to a dietitian.
3. "Rehabilitation program" to change my first life back to what it was and become a healthier, fitter, slimmer and more "old myself". Eat better! Sleep better! Exercize more! Socialize more! In short get back a first life worth calling "a life"!
4. Take care off and see more of my first life parents and hopefully friends also
5. Have sex...maybe, hopefully, perhaps...
6. ...and relax and have a lot of fun...

SecondLife

1. Second Pride Festival celebrations 
2. SL10B - the celebration of  SecondLife's tenth birthday
3. Take care of my SecondLife family and friends
4. ...and relax and have a lot of fun...

Early Notice

My eyesight is getting worse almost by the day. Since childhood I have only really had one functional eye. Although my left eye looks normal and moves around as it should, I have never been able to use it for anything other than peripheral vision (I can see things coming at me from the left). No visual aids can correct it.

My right eye is hyperopic (farsighted) with astigmatism and I have used glasses or lenses since I was three. Until about two years ago I could see very well with correctional aids, but I started having problems reading smaller text, like text-messages, on my cellphone. As this problem accelerated I went to my optician and told him I thought I needed a new prescription, but after the examination I was told that my eyesight hadn't changed much from the previous examination. Anyhow I ended up with a new pair of reading glasses after that visit.

Then I started noticing that things got blurry and doubled. If I was looking at something I saw sort of a shadow image slightly off which blurred the whole image. A visit to the eye-doctor, I was diagnosed with having cataracts but the silly woman told me it was too early to operate even if I tried to convince her of my unfortunate situation. 

Two months ago a nearsighted colleague at work had laser surgery done on his eyes, he came back to work a few days later with perfect vision. He suggested I should make an appointment with that place and get a check-up there to see if they could help. Two weeks after this my 83 y.o. mother had both her eyes operated on (at the same time), her sight is now nearly perfect also. 

I must be able to read and write easily, as those and my devious brain are the tools of my trade. There is also the possibility .that my drivers licence could be recalled as I may no longer fulfill the requirements set. It doesn't help me at all to get an operation later in life, I need it now to be able to work properly.

So a few weeks ago I went to the clinic where I after a full and extensive examination was told that they could help me if my left eye had not been in such a poor condition. As the situation was they refused to perform any operation on my right eye. They however referred me to a specialist on eye surgery for a second opinion. A short while afterwards I had an appointment for an examination with a possible operation on Monday June 17th.

So on the first morning of my upcoming vacation I am hoping to get operated on. If the surgeon seems to hesitate I am going to bargain, argue, plead, beg and possibly even threaten him to make him perform the operation.   As the main - but minute - risk with the operation is the possibility of infection I am also going to tell him I can come to the clinic as often as he wishes for them to keep that risk at bay.

Although both my colleague and my mother noticed immediate improvements, I am not sure what to expect for myself, so I wanted to inform you not to worry if there are no posts for a couple of days.

Diagnosis: Cataract

So, after various examinations today the ophthalmologist diagnosed me as having an onset of cataract.

A cataract is a clouding of the lens in the eye that affects vision. Cataracts are usually a result of denaturation of lens protein which causes a clouding that develops in the crystalline lens of the eye or in its envelope (lens capsule), varying in degree from slight to complete opacity and obstructing the passage of light. The disease is "age-related" in the sense that most people over 70 have it to some degree, but the onset can start as early as in the 30´s or 40´s.

Symptoms include

• Being sensitive to glare (Yes)
• Cloudy, fuzzy, foggy, or filmy vision (Yes)
• Difficulty seeing at night or in dim light (Yes)
• Double vision (Yes)
• Loss of color intensity (Not that I have noticed yet)
• Problems seeing shapes against a background or the difference between shades of colors (Not that I have noticed yet)
• Seeing halos around lights (Not that I have noticed yet)

However, the doctor told me that "my cataract" was not so far gone that I would be considered for surgery - yet. The development of cataract varies, some are faster and some are slower, so at this point we wait and see. The fact that I have only one usable eye is a factor that may merit an earlier operation.

This totally sucks!

It Ain't Cheap To Look Good

Bock as a noob dancing at Badboy Plaza

My buddy Eddi Haskell has a new poll running on his blog Eddi Haskell´s Second Life, asking How Much Do You Spend To Look Good in SecondLife?

Take the poll, please, I am so looking forward to see the final results.

I will not share with you how much I spend, but if you look at the picture above I am sure you can guess it took some hard work, many cosmetic surgeries (with shape and skin changes), AO´s to get rid of the "duckwalk" and a more than a few Lindens on a decent wardrobe and accessories to make that hideous noob look as halfway good as I do today.

The picture above shows me in my third or fourth month in SecondLife. I had just managed to buy the Pride Flag after about 25 hours of "camping". Soon afterwards I plugged in my credit card to SecondLife and the ugly duckling turned into the swan you see today, or close.

This is the only snapshot from my early days that I have found in my Inventory yet, I know there should be some more but I haven't taken the time to go through my 2,000+ snapshots and textures yet. Unfortunately I also remember how I at one point started deleting things from my early days (I will never do that again), but I am hoping there may still be some I overlooked

The Votes Are In

The winning set, #3

After some complains in the past about my eyes, I - finally - gave in and in the post "Bock´s Eyes" offered my friend Kandinsky Beaumont a choice between four different sets of possible eyes for me. I promised her that I would wear the eyes she selected until at least November 1st, 2011.

I also gave my readers a chance to voice their opinions in a poll. 

Well the votes are now in. Kandi favored Set #3 and eight voters (42 %) of the nineteen voters in the poll agreed with her, so those are the eyes I will be wearing until the date mentioned. 

Six voters (31 %) preferred the eyes I have been wearing for the past two years, Set #1.

Three voters (15 %) told me I would look stunning in any of them (Love you, guys!) and one voter each (5 %) preferred Set #2 and Set #4. To my great relief no one voted for the option that I would always look ugly.

I didn't vote in the poll, but I have been wearing Set #3 for a week now and am actually getting to like them a lot.

Bock´s Eyes

This is a special post dedicated primarily to Kandinsky Beaumont. She has in the past - and recently also - expressed views concerning my eyes.

I will therefor now give her the possibility to choose among the following four sets. I promise to wear the set of eyes that meet with her approval until at least November 1st, 2011.

The rest of you are of course also free to express your views on this very self obsessed subject.

Set #1

Set #2

Set #3

Set #4

Ahhh of course, I should give the rest of you the chance to express your opinion in a poll. The poll is up in the top right corner.