New Header & New Temporary Name

It's time for a change! The gloves are off, hence the new temporary name. 

My sincere and deep gratitude goes to my dear friend, the amazing photographer, Wayne Allan for allowing me the use of his fabulous picture as a header for a while.

"Christmas Eve Late Shopping" by Wayne Allan

I have never belonged to a "clique", neither in first life nor in SecondLife. I most definitely haven't ever been the leader of a clique. 

However, I have been fortunate enough to have met a group of men with amazing personalities, great charm and dazzling talents that allow me to hang out with them, despite my own shortcomings in all three departments. We do not hang out together as often as some seem to believe and we gladly allow others to join us.

P.S. Anyone wishing to verify "information" they have received about me from The Four Bitter Liars is welcome to contact me anytime.

This Year We Were First...

Last year Tomais and I almost missed sending out our Holiday greetings to friends and family, so this year Tomais started early and we had the card ready to send out in the middle of November, or close enough...

"Holiday Card 2018" by Tomais Ashdene

Tomais informed me, with a stern voice, that we were sending the card out either when we received our first card or December 1^st, whichever happened first.

We wish all our family and friends a 

wonderful and happy holiday season!

Fuck You!

So yesterday and today I received this threatening email from someone claiming to be a member of an International group of hackers. They tell me that they have been recording my web-based activity in emails, social media, and messenger (which they have wrongly translated to Swedish with "budbärare"). They also claim to have recorded my activities on porn websites and tell me that I have weird tastes...

Most importantly, or so they claim, they have recorded me with "my own web-camera" (I don't have a web-camera) when I visited porn-websites and will expose it all to my "friends, relatives, and my intimates..." if I don't pay $600 to their Bitcoin Wallet within 48 hours of receiving the email.

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The message:

"Hallå!

Som du kanske kunde gissat, var ditt konto (comhem.se) hackat, därför att Jag skickade dig ett mail därifrån.

Jag är medlem i en internationell hackergrupp.Inom en period från 29 juli 2018 till 18 september 2018 smittades du av det virus vi skapat via en vuxenwebbplats som du har besökt.Hittills har vi tillgång till dina meddelanden, sociala medier och budbärare.Dessutom har vi sparat alla dessa data.

Vi är medvetna om dina små och stora hemligheter...ja, du har dem. Vi såg och spelade in dina aktiviteter på porrwebbplatser. Din smak är så konstig, du vet ..

Men det viktigaste är att vi ibland spelade in dig med din webbkamera, synkronisera inspelningarna med det du såg på!Jag tror att du inte är intresserad visa den här videon till dina vänner, släktingar och din intima ...

Överför $600 till min Bitcoin Plånbok: 144CDUeBhcwoEUmA2B1cL5p5PqZrhJWCCt
Jag garanterar att efter det kommer vi radera alla dina "data": D

En timer startar när du läser detta meddelande. Du har 48 timmar att betala ovan nämnda belopp.

Dina uppgifter kommer att raderas när pengarna överförs. Om de inte är det kommer alla dina meddelanden och videoklipp automatiskt att skickas till alla dina kontakter som finns på dina enheter vid infektionstillfället.

Du bör alltid tänka på din säkerhet. Vi hoppas att det här fallet kommer att lära dig att hålla hemligheter.Ta hand om dig själv."

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I would like to warn my dear friends, family, relatives, and "intimates...", that they may soon see my extremely weird and illicit behavior exposed in some form. My sincere apologies for that!

My response to this International group of hackers that have studied and recorded my web-activity is, you will get no money from me not now and not when I am an International porn superstar that will get payed USD130.000 for keeping quiet about my personal and intimate relationship with world leaders.

Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
I bloody well hope you bastards 
recorded me from my best angles!

P.S. I have now reported the attempted blackmail to my ISP and the police.

Must Read: Curious Ways to Die in SecondLife

Ricco Saenz, blogger and a long time friend of mine, recently posted about "6 curious ways to die in Second Life" (url) on his blog Second Sighting │Ricco Saenz journey in SL (url). You must read it, and the pictures will make you die in interesting ways too!

"Eaten by an anaconda" Photo by Ricco Saenz (at Flickr)

New Line of Men's Underwear

Mein schatz, my friend, my squatter and the famous SecondLife designer of underwear Mirco Dinzeo yesterday told me about a new collaboration he has begun with Castello Sands in designing underwear for men with the Niramyth Aesthetic body under the label "CM".

He sent me a few samples and I thought I should share them with you. (Which forced me to do a long overdue update of my Niramyth mesh body)

The boxers are modeled by the world renowned runway model Bockalicious (All those famous people only go by one name, you know!)

Happy 10th Eddi!

Today we celebrate the tenth rezday of the one-and-only Eddi Haskell, my dear friend and my mentor in blogging.

I hope you have a wonderful rezday, buddy, and then I'm looking forward to ten more wonderful years in SecondLife with you!

Big hugs and lots of kisses on your cheeks. 

At Regi & Ty's 5th Bashaversary

JJ Goodman, the photographer and my brother.

I and my brother JJ

My love Tomais

My buddy Petrolicious

My buddy Cayson

Prim Limit Increase!

Clip description - Published on Nov 3, 2016
In this special edition of Designing Worlds, we present a special announcement from Linden Lab that will change your Second Life for the better. Watch the show to learn more!

This episode of Designing Worlds with Saffia Widdershins features Patch Linden - talking more in-depth about this new perk.

You can also read all about this in Inara Pey's insightful article: Living in a Modemworld - Second Life Mainland LI / prim allowance increase

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Did I ever tell you that I love my friends at Linden Lab? Well, if you haven't seen it before, here goes

Bock ❤ My Friends@Linden Lab

Things Friends Do (Update)

I just had an exchange on Facebook that left me a bit confused afterwards.

There is also this corroborating thing, that I have always had a problem with sarcasm and irony. (Some say it is because I lack a sense of humor and always take things too seriously and at face value.)

Anyhow, during the exchange the name of the only person I have blocked in SecondLife and on Facebook was dropped into the conversation by the person whom I think of as a friend.

I am not yet certain of why and for what reason really, but right now I have a nagging feeling it was done deliberately and only to hurt me. But I don't understand why this particular person would want to do that. I was also too surprised to confront him at the time.

I'll have to think more about this, it may be just me being silly and hypersensitive. There, now I can get back to trying to sleep.

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Update the next morning (local time)
After sleeping on it - which I should have done before posting, I know - I've reached the conclusion that I (due to totally unrelated events) was being oversensitive and read things into it that may not have been there as far as the other party was concerned. I would delete the post if I had not promised myself never to do that.

"Only I Can Save You!" (Edited)

The presidential election in the United States this year has caused a great deal of unrest and many rifts in the gay community in SecondLife, at least the part of it that I am in. Old friendships are broken and harsh words and derogatory adjectives are thrown about frequently.

Vladimir Lenin (April 22, 1870 –  January 21, 1924)

I have a fundamental belief in mankind, that we all strive for what we see as the best solution for ourselves and - mostly - for society as a whole. Some say I am naive, but I don't give a damn. I also believe in democracy and the political system to attend to our societies and address the issues that arise.

Josef Stalin (December 18, 1878 – March 5, 1953)

In our societies people - and large groups of them - are sometimes afraid, due to economic setbacks, sickness, unemployment, globalization, civil unrest, whatever or just from a feeling of being disenfranchised. No one sees their plight or listens to their complaints. No one tries to assist them in bettering their conditions, everyone else is just thinking of themselves.

Benito Mussolini (July 29, 1883 – April 28, 1945)

When such conditions are present we have more than once in our history seen politicians or parties arise who say they have the absolute remedy or know exactly how to go about creating "change" (unspecified and vague enough). 

Adolf Hitler (April 20, 1889 – April 30, 1945)

Most of the time these politicians will claim to be "outsiders" or "not part of the establishment", even though a simple background check will show that they actually are and have been for a long time.

Mao Zedong (December 26, 1893 – September 9, 1976)

Their often simple solutions start with pointing out who is to blame for the present predicament, it can be a particular race, religious or cultural affiliation, nationality, sexual orientation or economic class. Or better still all of the above jumbled together.

Donald J. Trump (June 14, 1946 -  )

Whenever I encounter a person or a group of people seeking political power who claim to know the the quick-and-fast solution to a given problem and asks me to "Trust me, I am the only one who can save you!", I back away as fast as I can.

Vladimir "Little Father" Putin (October 7, 1952 - )

There have been man politicians and groups throughout history who have made claims on the absolute way to "save" voters. Here are a few examples of "savior politicians", demagogues and despots, in the present and not too distant history (ordered according to date of birth).
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So how do we go from the existence of "savior politicians" to how to handle our friendships and relationships in SecondLife?

In my mind, the absolutely worst way to go about it is to distance yourself. I will never allow myself to assume that one of my friends or acquaintances is a misogynist, racist, Islamophobe, anti-Semite, homophobe or indeed anti-anything merely by whom they support in the American election, not until they express such views and opinions. Until that happens they will remain my friends.

Edit October 23, 2016: The edit today consisted only of moving the pictures, not a word was changed except for "globalization" which was previously misspelled.)

The 6th Annual Int'l Kiss-A-Swede Day in SL

It's the 6th of June again, which means it is another Kiss-A-Swede Day in SecondLife. 

This is the day I offer up my manly, yet sweet and deliciously plump lips for kissing to friends, foes and complete strangers in celebration of the Swedish National Day and the Day of the Swedish Flag.

Lip prints by Alessia Santoro at less is more

I started this tradition of my own in 2011 and it's gone on since then with varying degrees of participation and success, yet I still persist.

This year it will be a low-key event where I will be available for kissing requests throughout the day whenever I am in-world. My only condition is that I get to post a picture of our kiss on the blog.

So, whaddaya say, are ya ready for a bit of snogging? If you are, just send me a notecard or - if I am online - an IM and we'll meet up!

The Summer of 2015, Part 2: The Struggle

I am a privileged man, born into and raised by warm, loving, caring and accepting parents who created a stable nuclear family with no major dysfunctions. I am socially, materially and financially comfortable with a job I love. I don't suffer from any health issues or conditions that incapacitate me or require lifelong treatment. I have never starved, never been abused and never beaten. What do I have to complain about?

The answer is obvious, nothing really because I am most certainly among the 5% of the world's population who are best off. So I am aware that there are billions upon billions who are worse off if we were comparing or in a suffering contest. But we aren't, are we?

Just writing this post makes me feel petulant, childish and prissy, so please bear with me. With all my fortunate situation, I have still not been happy this whole horrible year.

I hate death!

Death means someone I love leaves. And not only that they leave me. Being left makes me very angry. I have never learned how to relate to that in a good way.

So my father died in January and my mother went sort of crazy for a while after that. I haven't grieved my father's death properly yet. I haven't shed a tear yet, instead I have been sort of balancing and "coping". Whether this lack of reaction is due to my antidepressants or not, I cannot say.

The reaction I have had instead is fatigue and tenseness and being antisocial. I am so tense that I actually gnawed through two perfectly healthy teeth and a tooth implant in my sleep. Now it seems, I may have damaged another one despite the fact that I now have a tooth guard. The fatigue and anti-socialness leads to me withdrawing from the company of almost everyone, except those who are closest to me.

Although the worst bit seems to be over now, there is still a way to go. And I will make it, thanks to myself, my Tomais and my friends in first life and in SecondLife. 

#Bock3000DaysInSL

There is reason to celebrate today, because it's my 3,000th day in SecondLife!

Bock on May 12, 2007, dancing alone at Bad Boy's Plaza

Who would've thought that fateful Monday more than eight years ago that I would still be here so very many years later?

I came out of inquisitiveness, only intending to check out what all the rave was about and why Sweden was opening it's first virtual embassy here. I spent my first weeks on Arrival Island, or whatever the place was called, trying to get my ugly noob avatar to look better so that I was fit to be seen. I'm gay after all, you have to at least try to look your best at any given moment...

As this was back in the day before Linden Lab provided us with the beautiful starter avatars and I lacked the necessary talent I finally gave up and ventured out into the world.

The first thing I looked for when I decided to venture away from Arrival Island, was anything related to Sweden, the second thing was anything to do with sex, preferably the gay variety. The Swedes ignored me completely, while the gays used me for mutual sexual gratification. Within an hour of leaving Arrival Island I was equipped with 10-15 dicks of various sorts, one of which took me far into the skies when I attached it.

After having used SecondLife for quick satisfaction and pixel-sex for a month or so I actually started talking to people before, during and/or after the quickies. My visits started to get longer and I started to make acquaintances, well more like fuck buddies but anyway...

Someone took pity on me and showed me where and how I could get my avatar to look better and where I could meet people for more than sex. I was introduced to Boots Gay Beach and the Devil Inside club (the "only" gay club to be for a while before it was destroyed by drama). I met good people, kind people and of course my share of assholes. I fell in love with Ars, we moved in together and built a life and family together at Southern Charm. Ars died and I seriously considered dropping out of SL, but then there was Southern Charm. I just couldn't leave it, everything there was a reminder of him and I did not want to lose it.

A little before Ars passed away I had reached out to the Swedish community again, with better luck this time. My countrymen and my SecondLife family were extremely supportive throughout my whole grieving process and involved me with community events, with parties and with people etc, etc. And my saga continues from there with a new love, new friends and new involvements and obligations.

So I came to SecondLife out of curiosity, I returned for the sex and continued for the the people, all the wonderful people I have met here.

All in all, it has been an amazing experience and I don't regret it for a second. I now know I'm going to stay here until Linden Lab pulls the plug in San Francisco, hopefully with a new and improved world waiting for me, my love, my family and my friends.

Happy #Bock3000DaysInSL to you all - and may we have many, many more!

A Failed Friendship

For several weeks now, I have been mulling over a friendship that ended disastrously. What went wrong? Could I have said or done some thing differently to stop this from ending with unfriending, blocking, muting and banning?

© Pink Sherbet Photography

I am getting nowhere and am just winding around in circles, most likely because the breakup is still too close in time or that I am too involved and unable to be objective in my inquiry. It simply hurts too much to think about it. Nonetheless I blame myself for the failure.

Every failed friendship should be followed by an autopsy of sorts to establish when, where and how everything went totally wrong, so that we can learn and avoid the same pattern from occurring again.

I may return to this subject in the future, but for now it seems pointless. All I know is that, to paraphrase the Roxette song, "there must have been love, but its over now". A residue of the love we had still remains and a hope - at least on my part - that somehow this will not be the end.

Parvin to the Rescue

Yesterday the Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm, prince of Cascade Falls, Sovereign Ruler of the Commonwealth of Southern Enchantment Region and Outer Territories and finally UN appointed Protector of the Solace Island and Mount Whitney sims in SecondLife, was close to a nervous breakdown.

The laird was puttering about at his ongoing supersecret project - which is to be revealed to the world in the not to distant future - but there was a building thingamabob that he just couldn't get quite right despite having been at it for hours. As he saw that Parvin, a.k.a. Xcept Atlas (left, archive photo) the laird's friend and the Market Lead of the Gay Archipelago, was close by the laird in his desperation called out to him for help.

Parvin swiftly responded to the cry for help, took a look at the problem at hand and said in a calm voice: "Well, I am not a builder but I am good at maths and I believe this issue can be solved with three prims, a square, a triangle and a semicircle." Whereupon he immediately started working on proving his point.

The laird looked on in wonderment as the brilliant man worked on the solution to his difficult situation. Parvin was done in less than  five minutes. The result was amazing and the botheration was completely solved to his satisfaction.

The laird was so relieved and overjoyed that he was prepared to knight the beautiful and highly respectful young man on the spot. Uncertain whether that would fit into the rest of Parvin's chosen existence in SecondLife the laird instead settled on giving him a gold medal for his excellent service.

I of course at once contacted Rico, the Lead of GA, to inform him what a brilliant and accomplished Market Lead he had.

When Tomais arrived at the scene he was put to work on texturing the prims according to the lairds wishes and his own better judgement. 

Let me tell you, the final result is stupendous and fabulous, as you will get the opportunity to witness with your own eyes in the near future. 

I am a man with no real talent for SecondLife, which so highly relies on the creativity and skills of it's resident's. However, to paraphrase Blanche DuBois in Tennessee Williams play "A Streetcar Named Desire", "I have always depended on the kindness of my family and friends."

I do have a knack of inadvertently surrounding myself with an abundance of amazingly skilled and talented family and friends who can help me out and guide me whenever I need it. I love them all dearly!

A Unilateral Action

Today I have been in SecondLife 2,667 days or, expressed in another way, 7 years 2 months and 18 days.

I would like to think that I have friendly relations with most of the people I have encountered during those many years, some are still close, others I meet sporadically but for various reasons our paths have mostly parted, some have more or less or altogether left SecondLife and some I don't have contact with even if they are still around. But those that we are friends with or have amicable relations with are never the problem, are they?

The relationships that drain my energy, and that I have been thinking much about the last two weeks, are the failed ones. Those relationships that have to some degree turned into open or concealed enmity. I find that it weighs down on me and makes me weary to keep track of the perceived wrongdoings and insults. It has also to some degree turned into an unwanted bitterness on my part that I do not at all care for.

So today I am going to clean the slate by unilaterally forgiving those I feel have wronged me - or someone I love - intentionally or through carelessness, so that I thereby in time can forget the perceived insults and abuses. I am also asking those whom I know feel that I have wronged them for forgiveness. I am going to unblock all those that have previously been blocked from Instant Messaging me in-world or from entering my home sim or on social media sites.

I know that this action will most likely be labeled as "drama" by some, but I don't care one iota because I am doing it for my own sake not anyone else's. My forgiveness is in no manner dependent on the their willingness to forgive me.

As I do not believe a sweeping apology is enough I am going to name each and every one of those I believe deserve my forgiveness and whose forgiveness I need for my words and actions in the past. I will not go into my reasons for feeling hurt by those named, except in one particular case.

I forgive you, Ars Northmead, for dying and leaving me alone and heartbroken for such a long time. I also ask your forgiveness for resenting you for something you could not help. You know I love you, babe, and I know you loved me. Forgiving you was and is always easy.

I forgive you, Andrey Messmer (a. k. a. D R E Y Messmer), and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Martial Eisenhart, and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Butch Horton, and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Vanadis Falconer, and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Sjöfn Stoneshield, and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Kynlif Leikfang, and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Loo Berensohn, and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, PetGirl Bergman (a.k.a. Tina Dahl), and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Alessia Kranfel (a.k.a. Vesper Kling and Mera Kranfel) and ask for your forgiveness.

Lastly I forgive myself.
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The deed is done and now the rest of my life can start afresh. It is a big relief! 

What Friends Are For

I was given this picture by Parvin, a warrior of Gor, that I met and talked with during the last Second Pride festival.

The picture shows Parvin eating dust after he has been defeated by Timmy, a gladiator from Rome with the bulkiest body I have yet seen, in one of the jousts between the warriors of Gor and the gladiators of Rome. The jousting was a new and interesting element introduced at this years festival. According to Parvin his dear and loving friends had taken the picture to rub his nose in the defeat. And isn't that exactly what friends are for?

It reminded me that it is said that in ancient Rome: as a Roman general was parading through the streets during a victory triumph, standing behind him was his slave, tasked with reminding the general that, although at his peak today, tomorrow he could fall, or — more likely — be brought down. The servant is thought to have conveyed this with the warning, "Memento mori" (Remember that you will die!).

Friends are there to support us, encourage us, comfort us, care for us and love us, but also to cut us down to size and remind us of who we are if and when we risk forgetting it.

"Gone Fishing"

Today at 4 pm I started my glorious three week vacations, but this year I have a hectic program lined up in both my lives.

First Life

1. Monday June 17, 2013, 10.30 AM local time - Eye-examination and possible laser surgery
2. Wednesday June/19, 2013, 1.30 PM local time - Doctors appointment for check up on my blood sugar and to get a referral to a dietitian.
3. "Rehabilitation program" to change my first life back to what it was and become a healthier, fitter, slimmer and more "old myself". Eat better! Sleep better! Exercize more! Socialize more! In short get back a first life worth calling "a life"!
4. Take care off and see more of my first life parents and hopefully friends also
5. Have sex...maybe, hopefully, perhaps...
6. ...and relax and have a lot of fun...

SecondLife

1. Second Pride Festival celebrations 
2. SL10B - the celebration of  SecondLife's tenth birthday
3. Take care of my SecondLife family and friends
4. ...and relax and have a lot of fun...